Anonymous said: I know this proboly isn't as important as some of your other asks but Here we go: My best friend and I have been drifting apart and we never see each other anymore. We don't talk since there isn't anything to say. Our families are super close and she has been friends with me since birth which is one of the reasons I don't want to give up on us being friends. We r going into freshman year and I don't wanna loose her, help please :(
Oh, love, it is natural for friendships to acquire their periods of trial and tribulation. While it may be worrisome, there are ways in which you can quicken said periods. For instance, consider meeting with this friend about the matter at hand. Inform her that you believe you two are drifting apart and would like to prevent it if possible. I’m sure with enough discussion, both of you will be able to reach some sort of agreement that satisfies both of you.
While I can understand why you feel such pain, try to comprehend that some friendships do not last forever and none are perfect. With every friendship, there are going to be fights and skirmishes. Nevertheless, treat each obstacle with a rational and logical mindset. Do not let emotions sweep you away from dealing with the issue in a reasoned manner. It is such emotion that often causes terrible situations to become even more fragmented. Remember to always try to be a level headed and sensible individual as no wrong can come from such characteristics.
I wish you the best of luck, love~! I’m here if you need anything. Stay lovely~!
Anonymous said: I like this girl. I love her with all the essence of my soul and being. She lives very far away from me, and so i can never see her. She loves another guy as well. I have no purpose in my life. I want to be with her, but i can’t. Job, study, money, people, distance, other guys. Everything is in my way. I can’t forget about her. I’m not expecting an answer from you, Jude. Just wanted to say, sometimes life just sucks, and no matter how you look at things, there's no positive side.I love your work
It seems as though you have developed quite the infatuation for this lovely girl. While there are a variety of obstacles that stand in your way, nothing is
impossible. If you believe you want her and her alone for the rest of your life, I would do everything in my power to make it happen. Allow her to become your inspiration to get a better job or education. This will not only allow you to acquire purpose, but give you the chance to live a life you can be proud of later on.
Moreover, I would inform her that you do obtain these strong feelings for her. Whether her love for you is reciprocated or not, allow her to know that you are more than willing to be with her. If, however, her love for you is not given in return, allow this to become another source of inspiration. Though rejection may be painful and miserable, it also works to open the door for new opportunity. There will come a day where you will find that one individual who gives you as much love as you give to them. In the meantime, work on finding and making yourself into a happier and healthier human being.
About a year ago, I was/am in love with a wonderful girl. The love we acquired for one another was often strained due to the distance we attained. Nevertheless, we were able to push through and finally see each other about a month ago. Though there was a variegated amount of trials and tribulations we had conquer, our relationship strengthened with each conquered battle.
I’m telling you this in order for you to realize that no situation is completely bleak. There is always that (sorry to be cliche) silver lining in each and every cloud you see. Do not give up, there is hope.
I’m here if you need anything, alright? Feel free to Skype me at JudetheJudeful if you ever need to talk. Stay strong~!
Anonymous said: I'm sorry. I don't know what to do. Friends tell me I'm suffering from something called BDD. Sometimes I think they are right, but when I look at the symptoms something seems wrong. I hate myself. I hate the way I look. I don't spend hours looking at the mirror. But I do cry a lot. It causes problems with my boyfriend. He gets angry. I think the way I see myself is real. I don't want to ask for help if I don't need it. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get help. Or if I even need it.
Oh, love, you are so beautiful. I’m sorry that you cannot look in the mirror and see the stunning individual that you are. Unfortunately, I know far too well as to what it is like to look at one’s own reflection and be digusted by what they see. Nevertheless, there are a variegated amount of ways in which you can overcome this detrimental mindset. Whether you attain low self-esteem or an actual mental disorder, this state of mind that you acquire is not beneficial in acquiring a healthy and happy life. I, therefore, strongly recommend that you seek assistance in battling these destructive and abusive feelings before permanent damage is done.
In order to begin the process of recovery, I would speak to a parent and/or guidance counselor about the problems you mentioned in this ask. Inform them that this is not a phase, and you do believe that if you do not retrieve help, there may be irreparable consequences. I’m sure they will be more than willing to provide you the basic outlets you need in order to get better. Moreover, I would consider joining support groups online and/or in your community in order to journey through this recovery process with other like-minded individuals. It will provide you comfort to know that you’re not alone in the rehabilitation process.
You’re gorgeous, love. I wish I could purge every ounce of negativity within that wonderful brain of yours. I’m here if you need anything~! Stay strong.
Anonymous said: I really want to kill myself because of it, I have been suicidal for a long time
Love, the first thing I want you to do is to call 1-800-273-8255 immediately. This hotline will provide you the comfort and positivity you so long for in such severe moments of pain and anguish. As well, the call will also distract you long enough to allow these suicidal feelings to pass.
I am so sorry you acquire such self-destructive feelings, lovely. Depression often causes many of us to delude ourselves into thinking we do not deserve life. Nevertheless, this is not the case at all. You are a beautiful human being, and deserve to live just as much as any other individual on this planet. I assure you that if you invest enough time and patience into your recovery process, you’ll be able to look back on this day and be glad you did not end this precious life you obtain.
I strongly suggest you speak with a parent and/or guidance counselor about your suicidal tendencies. Inform them that you have been experiencing these tendencies for a relatively long period of time, and would like to seek outside assistance. I’m sure they will be more than willing to provide you with the necessary outlets, whether that be a school therapist or support group, to spur a healthy recovery. As well, I would suggest enrolling in online support groups in order to breed further positivity, such as
I want you to stay strong for me, beautiful. I’m here if you need anything.
Anonymous said: My life lately feels... Pointless. My girlfriend left me almost three months ago, my friends don't talk to me, my family doesn't talk to me, I have nothing to strive for, no one to talk to. No one to love, no reason to live. I don't feel sad, I feel alone and purposeless. I just don't see a reason to continue, no reason at all. My life is going to be stuck in the same routine for the rest of my days and I can't derail the path it's on. I've tried so many times...
I give you my deepest apologies that you acquire such feelings of helplessness. I know what it is like to reach that point where all seems lost. You have gotten fed up with the bleakness and futility of life, and believe the only solution to the issue at hand is to finish yourself from further misery from ensuing. Nevertheless, this is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. These feelings you obtain are fleeting and can be diminished with enough time and patience. I assure you that if you continue to fight for this life, your battle will not be in vain.
In order to begin to vanquish these feelings of torment, I would strongly suggest self-improvement. Start to discover yourself by enrolling in programs within your school and/or community. As well, attempt a variety of hobbies in order to find an outlet that allows you to express yourself in a positive and productive fashion. Moreover, please consider joining such online communities as
Blah Therapy and/or 7 Cups of Tea in order to interact with others in a positive and healthy manner.
As well, from what I’ve read, a large contributor to your feelings of hopelessness is due to the fragmented relations you attain with your friends and family. I would strongly recommend putting your issues with them aside and get in contact with these individuals. Inform them that you do miss their presence and would like matters to be resolved.
In the likelihood that there are more deep-rooted reasons for the feelings you attain, I would advise you speak with a professional on the matter. A psychiatrist and/or therapist will allow you to understand the science behind your emotions and what possible solutions for these feelings exist.
I wish you the best of luck~! If you need anyone to talk to, message JudetheJudeful on Skype. I’m here if you need anything.
anonymous asks: there’s this guy I met at school & I instantly had a huge crush on him. We met before at a track meet & he was giving me tips and he was really cute. Were in two of the same classes. Everyone says hes a huge flirt but the times he talks to me he always stutters. He always looks at me from across the room and when I look at him he smiles & blushes & looks away. I thought he liked me but then I see him walking with other girls and idk what to do! Does he like me? Do I wait for him to talk to me?
asking-jude responds: Well, love, since all healthy relationships are built on communication and honesty, I would suggest speaking with him in private about the matter. Inform him that you acquire these feelings for him and thought they were reciprocated until his actions with other individuals proved otherwise. This discussion will not only allow you to resolve the issue at hand, but cease these feelings of love and anguish from eating away at you.
If he does not seem receptive in investing himself romantically with you, try to understand and respect his decision. While you may feel temporarily down, do not let this rejection allow you to define who you are or how much you are worth. It is only a matter of time before the right individual comes into your life and sweeps you off your feet.
I’m here if you need anything, okay? I wish you the best of luck~! Stay lovely. Sep 13
Anonymous said: Hi, I'm 16, I'm a girl. I've had problems with my weigh and food for two years now. But lately it got worse. I think vomiting has started to seriously affect my health and it's terrifying, but at the same time I just can't stop. I'm scared.
Oh, love, you are so beautiful. Do not let the portrayal of beauty within Western society convince you that you are not stunning.
You must come to realize that beauty is objective, and each individual’s idea of it differs widely from another. In my eyes and in the eyes of many others, I’m sure, you’re a marvelous human being with a gorgeous complexion.
The destructive and hateful feelings that spur your bulimia are not your own, but that of the mental disorder you attain. Therefore, the only way to be rid of these feelings is to conquer the mental disorder at hand. Inform a parent and/or guidance counselor of the eating disorder you attain, and I’m sure they will be more than willing to provide you the outlets you need. Moreover, I would suggest joining support groups online as well as in your community in order to make your recovery a healthier and happier one.
here for more information on eating disorder recovery.
I wish you the best of luck, okay? I’m here if you need anything.
Anonymous said: So I need some help, I'm a guy and I think I have a crush on this guy but it's the first time I have such feelings towards a guy, and I'm not even sure if he is feels the same. he does show interest but it's hard to read if it's just interest as in friends or secretly more...
Well, if you believe these feelings to be genuine, I would suggest arranging a get-together with this guy and informing him how you feel. As well, notify him that this is your first time you have ever acquired feelings for an individual of the same sex and you’re quite insecure about the matter. This meeting between the two of you will allow the feelings you obtain for him to not brew and fester within you. With much discussion, I’m sure you both will understand where to take your relationship from this point.
Nevertheless, if he does turn you down, try not to take it too hard. While rejection often does cause momentary depression, such feelings of anguish and misery will subside eventually. Love is a terrifying thing, allowing a man to feel such erratic spurs of happiness and pain. Be that as it may, know that the pain you may possibly acquire is natural. It is only a matter of time before your heart will heal and you’ll be able to embrace love again.
I’m here if you need anything~! I wish you the best of luck!
Anonymous said: I love you.
Anonymous said: I'm telling you this cause I need to say it to someone before it's too late. I don't want to go on any more, I feel terrible and I just don't see the point of anything. I don't know what to go cause I don't want to burden my friends with this and my family just won't understand. I don't want to do anything thing and people at school are making me feel like shit. I just want out but I don't know how
Love, I’m here for you. I know what it’s like to have reached that stage of helplessness. You feel lost and feel as though there is no one else you can turn to. Nevertheless, please understand that these feelings are fleeting. There will come a day where you will be as content and joyful as any other individual in this world. I promise that if you stick around for awhile longer, you will not regret it.
Since your parents do not understand and/or recognize mental disorders, I would suggest taking matters into your own hands, and educating them. Provide them with academic resources that give insight as to what depression and/or other mental disorders are, and how we should treat those who acquire them (for examples,
click here or here). Nonetheless, if they are still not receptive towards the idea of you seeking help, I would inform a guidance counselor that you need help in order to conquer this mental illness. I’m sure he/she would be more than willing to provide you with outlets, such as a school therapist or support group, that will soothe these feelings of anguish and pain.
If at any point throughout the recovery, you acquire such suicidal feelings as you seem to reflect in the ask above, please call 1-800-273-8255 immediately. This hotline will provide you with the comfort and positivity you need during your lowest of lows. As well, consider joining sites such as Blah Therapy or 7 Cups of Tea in order to express other feelings of anxiety you attain.
I’m here if you need anything, okay? Skype me at JudetheJudeful if you ever want to talk. Stay strong.
anonymous asks: Answer privately please. So, I’ve been extremely depressed lately because of school. I have one thing left to do before I graduate - it’s to do my thesis. And I ran into some complications while doing it. Long story short, I was told to change my medium and I did but I’m not that good at it. I can ask for help but it made me feel really depressed because they told me that last minute after I put in all the work… That I need to change media, I mean. I know what I have to do, I just don’t have the motivation to. I feel like I don’t have much time (I wasted my free time to do nothing because restarting the project gives me SO MUCH anxiety. I cannot sleep / wake up early. I SHAKE and palpitate.) and I feel like I didn’t learn enough to be here. I feel inadequate and helpless. I don’t wanna bother with this but I already enrolled. Like I said, I know I have to do my best but I really cannot explain to you the anxiety and depression I’m feeling. It’s hard to put into words. Anyway, please share your thoughts with me. Please and thank you. Oh, and just to add to that last msg: I feel inadequate because that’s what I’ve always been told. It’s easy to say not to listen to people but it’s terrible that I get a lot of shit from people and that’s what keeps me up at night. I hate myself.
asking-jude responds: Oh, love, I’m so sorry you acquire such destructive and hateful feelings towards yourself. Personally, I have acquired such waves of self-loathing that it was, at times, more than I could bear. Nevertheless, please recognize that these feelings are not your own. Mental disorders have the ability to misconstrue and manipulate individuals into believe such lies as the ones you’ve mentioned.
Nonetheless, please recognize that such emotions are not based in reality. You must understand that you do attain ability and beauty within you. Only through sheer positivity will you be able to defeat these negative feelings. With enough time and patience as well as conviction, your days will become brighter and you will recognize the value you obtain.
Be that as it may, we cannot do everything on our own all the time. I would suggest consulting with a psychiatrist in order to allow a professional choose the best course of action in order to combat these depressive and anxious emotions. As well, I would suggest joining such sites as
Blah Therapy and 7 Cups of Tea in order to express your feelings in a positive and comforting environment.
As far as your thesis is concerned, I would strongly recommend meeting with your teacher after class. Inform him/her of the feelings you are receiving due to this paper, and if there is any possible way he/she can help. I’m sure your professor will be more than willing to assist you in finishing the assignment at hand.
I wish you the best of luck, lovely! I’m here if you need anything. Stay lovely~!
Anonymous said: What do I do if the person I like is possibly gay?
Well, love, I would first arrange a get-together with this individual in order to discuss the matter at hand. This will not only allow you to express your feelings out in the open, but allow a sort of closure to be formed if he/she does or does not mutually acquire said romantic feelings. Locate your meeting in an environment that acquires little to no distractions in order for conversation to be less disconcerting. Once you have both settled, confess your feelings for him/her. Inform this lovely person that you understand he or she is gay, but your feelings still remain. I’m sure with enough consultation, the agitation you acquire will subside and you both will come to some sort of agreement in your relationship.
Nevertheless, judging from this individual’s sexuality, the chances of he/she liking you back are quite slim. Remember that if he/she does turn you down, there will be other loves to come. Do not let the pain and anguish that breeds from an un-returned love allow you to grow bitter and hateful towards the world. There will come a day when such painful feelings will flee, and you’ll be able to willingly open your heart to another again.
I wish you the best of luck, love~! I’m here if you need anything.